Where it all started.

     A little introduction about myself. I moved to Florida about two years ago. Life at the time was pretty hectic. I had nothing and no one. I was previously married. Yay! Congratulations right? LOL. No. That was the worst. I cannot believe I actually did that to myself for someone who I thought loved me. We all are blinded sometimes. Whether it be legal or us just wearing rose-shaded lenses. It gets the best of us. I moved here to start over. To get me back. Well in those two years I have had the time of my life. I feel free. I don't have to worry about if he's got a roof over his head and food in his belly. Did he ever care to wonder about me? No, I literally starved. I lost 25lbs. In such a grand relationship. Haha. Mind you I don't even weigh as much as a 13-year-old to this day. Since then, I have struggled with severe anxiety, bipolar-depressive episodes, and an eating disorder. I have never been able to along with therapists and I refuse to take medication. It never worked for me so why try now? I'm better without anyways. 

    I struggle a lot with anger, random outbursts, and things of the sort. I'm sure you get the idea. I have come a long way though. If I am really trying, I just breathe through my nose, and I stay calm. Man, a couple of years ago, you would have never thought I would ever stay quiet, and calm. If I wasn't trying to play fight, oh it was on. I used to always be on edge. On defense. For what? The world may never know. I have had to unlearn that toxic behavior of mine. It's better to be cool, calm, collected. 

    With all of this being said, what kind of help is out there for the people like me? I have had to learn that if I refuse to take all of these medications, there has to be a positive source somewhere. I have friends who can build concerts, do nails, love to laugh and paint, make all green rubs, scrubs, anything for your needs! She's really plant positive and grows her ingredients in her backyard! You could always pick up new hobbies. Start seeing the Sun! The vitamins just from that alone! Being active in any way! Start moving! As for me, I like skating. That's my outlet for movement. SELF-CARE IS THE BEST CARE. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. Positivity is the key in this. Anything that can bring happiness. Writing this blog, seeing the world through my eyes, and seeing my way of thinking could help you, to help someone else. That is what is going to change the world. One person at a time.