Ugh. Really?

 November 16th, 2021.

I cannot deal with today. My mental broke. I wanted to pack up all the shit in my house and pack it into my car and just leave my house. I wanted to quit my job. I feel like I’m busting my ass for nothing but pennies to the dollar. I feel so set back. I’m lost. I’m confused. What am I working for anymore? Are my efforts really going unnoticed again? Like wth!!

Yesterday, I was leaving for work and one of my roommates blocked me in. I totally missed it. Yo, I straight smacked his car, no, not car. His truck. He goes, “I hope you have insurance”. Wow. That’s the only thing I can say right now to that. Now either I pay out of pocket or have to make a claim and have my insurance skyrocket. I can barely afford the rent as it is. My pay decreased dramatically. I can’t believe it. I figured I would have caught up by now. It just seems I keep getting set back. If it’s not the super speeder tickets from trying to visit family, it’s another medical bill, or better yet, let me just smash into my roommate's truck.

 

It is what it is though, I am honestly contemplating whether to get another job. I am going to Miller’s Ale House tomorrow to try to sort some things out. I just cannot wrap my head around it. When I lost it at work, I just walked outside and sat in my car. I rolled up and smoked. 

I didn’t know what else to do. I needed to calm down to get back in there. I got this.